3/12/2023 0 Comments I am lways the initiater![]() If you thought this person was “The One,” it makes sense why you might feel some lingering disappointment and sadness after ending things. Wilson also notes that if you had high hopes for this previous relationship, and envisioned a future together, then it’s understandable for the split to take a toll on you emotionally. “That makes you an emotionally healthy person - as long as you don’t take it too far." “You likely have witnessed the pain the breakup has caused your ex and because you are empathetic, you hurt for them,” he explains. Sometimes, your personality can come into play here (shoutout to my fellow empaths). Having the courage to break up is often confused with caring less about the relationship and, as a result, the initiator can actually feel lonely post-breakup, for the simple reason that their feelings are being overlooked and their heartbreak is being minimized."īut according to dating and breakup coach Lee Wilson, who has witnessed thousands of breakup cases over the last 20 years, feeling sad after breaking up with someone is super common, even if you carefully thought your decision through and ended things on OK terms. "This misconception often leaves the initiator to fend for themselves post-breakup, which is isolating. "In other people’s eyes, the initiator chose to break up - so the fact that they’re now single must mean they’re happy," she explains. Why? Because it's assumed that they aren't hurting as badly. Unfortunately, Chelsea Leigh Trescott - breakup coach and podcast host of Thank You Heartbreak - tells Elite Daily that friends and family often nurture the person who's been broken up with back into good spirits, but the initiator rarely gets quite the same level of TLC. There are two things experts want you to know if you initiated the breakup but still feel sad: This is totally normal, and there are strategies you can use to ease the pain. And just because you’re the one who decided it was time to end things doesn’t mean you won’t struggle in the aftermath. The truth is, there are so many factors that can impact how someone deals with a breakup. ![]() One of the biggest misconceptions around breakups is that the person who instigates the split doesn’t suffer nearly as much as the person they break it off with. ![]()
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